Things
that go bump in the day 56


Right
then, here we go with February, and what journeys are we going to go
on today, my fellow travellers!

Well,
February is a month of wanderings down the highways and byways of
life with a lot of busy stuff, but also a lot of tough stuff, to get
through. Some bad nights and some great adventures, and with sensory
perception troubles on the scene. I think that’s how I will describe
it for the time being.

But
before we get into those things, I just want to go on a little side
excursion for the moment (many more excursions are coming up over the
course of this year ) into the realms of my mind, my heart and the
month of February.

This
year, February, like every month, has a 14th day. But February the
14th is a bit different from other 14ths because February 14th is St
Valentine’s Day. St Valentine’s Day no longer has much religious
significance, but it does come from a very old pagan festival that
was held on the 15th of February. The Catholics, with ecclesiastical
sleight of hand, craftily claimed it for themselves by moving it to
the 14th, because they had a saint for that day (guess who????). But
now it doesn’t have much saintly meaning outside of the religious
world. It does however have a meaning to the commercial world
(surprise, surprise), and therefore a lot of financial interest
attached to it ( a ‘lot’ of financial interest!). There is no
particular social or economic significance to the day. It is very
social, but far from economical ha ha. But it does have a meaning to
those, like me, who enjoy ‘Romance’.

I
like to think, and enjoy thinking, that I’ve always been fairly
romantic; and now with dementia, which is incurable, I believe that I
can say I am ‘an incurable romantic’. Now whether the current
meaning I attach to my incurable romanticism ties up with the meaning
of the original phrase, ‘incurable romantic’, I don’t know and
don’t really care. Presumably my personal idea of incurable romantic
means that I will always try to see the good side; the nice side; the
positive side and the happy-ever-after side in everything; and that
sounds like fun and very fine by me.

February
has had a lot of turmoil involved with it and created many, many
sleepless or troubled-sleep nights. These troubled nights may have
been caused by the stresses and strains of being put under the
microscope for social security assessment, to do with getting my
housing sorted, and may also have been caused by the additional
stresses and strains of the assessment process I had to go through to
get my Blue Badge. There has also been a lot going on around home
with some computer problems; some internet problems; a lot of noisy
neighbours (not you Dave); washing machine not working; tumble dryer
not working and, at times, the heating not working. Which meant that
I couldn’t get anything dry even if I did manage to get it washed.
All of these things going on, plus the fact that throughout the
months my senses have been incredibly random and changeable, has led
to quite a sensory adventure this month.

Ok
then, that’s about enough time spent on all this waffle
(hmmm,
waffles! Maybe breakfast would be a good idea right now?). Let’s get
on with the blog shall we?

I’ll
try and rattle through what went on in February. But trying to rattle
through quickly might be tough for Wayne, as I never seem to do
anything quickly nowadays. But as I get older, rattling shouldn’t be
a problem.

The
month started with a MemoryBilia meeting on the Wednesday and, I am
sorry to say, either I did not take notes of that meeting or I’ve
misplaced them. I know I gave some very positive feedback on the
progress of THE SITE but
I don’t really recall much else about the meeting. The site has been
very well received; lots of hits across the planet (not quite up to
the level of this blog lol, but trying hehe!) and lots of great
comments about the motivational and informative stuff on it.

Apart
from going to the cinema again on the Thursday
(saw a Girl on the
Train; the film, not a girl on the train on the way to the cinema ha
ha. I went by bus, so could not see the girl on the train even if she
was there. And besides, why would I want to be looking at some random
girl on a train anyway?????? …… but then again….Oh shut up and
get on with it!!), the only other notable thing this week was doing a
training session for Carers Support Group,
there being another one
later in the month. The idea was that if both sets of the training
went well, we may get some further bookings and it would be reviewed
after the second session. However, the first session obviously went
so well that we’ve already been invited to go to the company’s AGM
sometime in the next couple of months to do a session for the
trustees and directors; so it must have been a good one. Another good
one was when I went along with Ash to a sales meeting. Ash was hoping
that we would at least get a foot in the door with this particular
renowned care home group and, well, as we were at the meeting I think
my old sales training or flair kind of kicked in and I was unable to
bite my tongue. Things went so well that rather than just getting a
foot in the door they ended up asking us if we could possibly do the
training for them, if we could find the time to fit them in. Great
stuff! They ended up almost asking to buy, rather than us having to
sell. Now that’s good sales.! We ended up with not just a foot in
the door but two confirmed sessions, and that could very quickly be
followed up with another twelve. If they go well and, being so great
and not just a little egotistical, I have no reason to doubt that
they will go grand. Not bad! The world is definitely becoming
dementia aware apace, and not before time.

Suddenly
we hit the week where all my senses, sleep patterns and stress levels
and, well everything, went out of the window, as I hit into a kind of
personal under-the-microscope period. Two major assessments over
three days, the first beings social services social security
assessment, to do with my housing (just a tad important), and it felt
like a really pressured time. Meeting new people, important ones,
adds immeasurably to the pressure of the situation. And although the
people involved were very nice and pleasant, it was a big deal as I
feel that the outcome is of vital importance to my continued health
and well-being. Unfortunately, the experience resulted in my sleep
being seriously messed up,
and it was during this week that I
experienced really bad sleep problems and waking up in the middle of
the night. What was going on in my head I have no clear idea, and
cannot grasp any of the thoughts that may have been the reason behind
my night-time troubles, but here are the two audio files that I made
from one of the nights during that week.

[night
audios – THIS NIGHT and LATER THIS NIGHT]

The
second assessment was slightly less important, but just as big a deal
in my mind. It was, I suppose, just as traumatic because of having to
prove once again to the powers-that-be, that dementia causes you
troubles. This was an assessment to see whether I would be entitled
to have a Blue Badge, despite the fact that I don’t have my own car.
My argument was that just because I do not have a car, that does not
change the fact that I may need someone else to get me somewhere. And
when we get there, I am not suddenly more capable than a person with
dementia who does have a car. My problems are with the traffic, which
is why I cannot drive anymore, and why I am not to ride my bike
anymore. I need others to stop me walking out onto the road when just
a pedestrian, for goodness sake!! Car parks are dangerous places,
sometimes even busier than roads, as drivers are not concentrating on
the road at this time; they are scanning for a parking place. A
nightmare situation for me, so I could do with being parked near to
the shop, thanks!

Just
to say, that although I was very stressed out and having major sleep
issues, and still am to some extent, these two events both had very
positive outcomes in that I am now on the housing list. Not that I
quite grasp or understand how it all works (and there’s more of that
story to come a little later), but I did eventually get notified and,
also, I now have my Blue Badge, which has been used a few times
already. Result!

Here
I am in well into March, still feeling tired because I’m not sleeping
right; still having my senses jangled all over the place, which I’ll
deal with more in a moment. Thinking about, and looking back over
what I’ve written down so far in this blog, and again like a couple
of times during last year, it feels a bit flat. I don’t seem to have
the right kind of attitude and the laugh-a-minute ways about me that
I sometimes have, so sorry about that. I’ll see if I can find some
way of charging it up a bit, but I’m not sure how at the moment.

The
next couple of weeks had quite a lot of good stuff, starting with a
peer group meeting and an update of the changes happening in and
around Parliament since our Peer group went up there at the end of
September last year. I made a point of talking about it in the blog
at that time, so we’ll have an update now on what went on with that
feedback session.

Or,
rather, we won’t have an update on that at the moment.

Here
I am, almost at the end of March and still struggling, and I do mean
struggling; really struggling to get the February blog done and
complete. I suppose I’m probably about halfway at this time, but with
half still to go and no real feel that I’m getting anywhere, I think
it might be wise to stop now, pass what we’ve got over to Dave so
that he can edit, and we can at least get this bit out. Then I’ll do
the second half, hopefully in about a week or so, when I’ve had time
for a really good rest and got my mind back focused and on track and
also, hopefully, my senses in order. Something which I really need
and can be talking about in detail, but haven’t quite got around to
yet. I must get back on track to write it clearly, so for now I’m
going to end, and I’ll do a February Part 2 bit soon. I will then be
starting off with the update on Parliament and then all the rest of
the bits that happened in February, of which there is still quite a
lot, and some good exciting stuff, but mostly trying to cover why it
is that I am still suffering from lack of motivation and lethargy
right now.

Get
back to you soon guys. Sorry about this; over to you Dave.

Feb
blog part 1 footnote:-

This
is rather jumping the gun, as it is to do with March/April and I have
not even done February part 2 yet. But it is making me mad now, not
next month, although it will probably still be a huge burning issue
then anyway.

Now,
regarding my Blue Badge; right or wrong I got it! I haven’t yet
told you the full story, but I have it! Since then, it has been used,
on my behalf, by other drivers who take me places. They, not
disabled, park in disabled bays, as allowed, because I am disabled.
This seems to cause many issues with other drivers; not other
disabled drivers, but those who are physically/mentally/ emotionally
able – just not able to find a parking space. Well, all you
shit-heads, NOT ALL DISABILITIES ARE VISIBLE. Is someone with a
visual impairment assumed to be ‘able’ because they do not have a
stick or dog? No, they are more at risk! So when you next see someone
legally park in a disabled bay, try opening your tiny warped mind
rather than opening your big, free flowing gob!!!!

End
of rant……For now lol